Thursday, August 23, 2007

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

So, last night was going to be the first official 'girl's night' with the girls from the ward. I was looking forward to it. Just the thought of meeting some new people and possibly making some new friends. All day I thought about how fun it was going to be to go out to dinner, and I really wanted to make a good first impression. I gave careful thought to what I would wear, how I would fix my hair, etc. I would compare it to getting ready for a first date, or the first day of a new school. So funny. I guess I just really wanted the girls to like me. It's weird coming to a new place and being the new person and everyone already knowing each other. Thank GOODNESS for ALison and Christi being in my ward.

Anyway, so I was all ready to go, just waiting for Steve to get home, getting his and Easton's dinner ready. And this is where all the excitement and fun ends. Easton won't eat anything these days. Sorry, I take that back; he won't eat anything but bread and fruit. I sat there forever trying to get him to eat things that he used to like to eat (green beans, sweet potatoes)...but nothing. He's screaming and spitting food on my cute "going out" outfit and I'm just getting more and more frustrated by the second. Finally, I let my frustration get the best of me, and I yelled and went upstairs, possibly muttering and expletive or two in the process.

Obviously later, lying on my bed I felt totally guilty...yelling at my poor baby who doesn't know any better. And normally I don't make a big deal out of his food...if all he wants to eat is bread I normally let him, but for some reason I just wanted him to eat something else...ANYTHING else! So, my mood was shot and I knew I wouldn't be any fun at the restaurant with the other girls, so I stayed home. I stayed up in my room until Steve put Easton to bed, feeling MOUNDS of guilt pile upon me while I hear him bathing him, both of them laughing and having a good time; Easton just swimming in Steve's patience while his potty mouth mother lay in her room.

So I missed out on Cafe Rio, but that's okay.

*I promise my next blog will be more uplifting...I just realized the last few have been full of complaints. I promise, I love my child!

18 comments:

rose said...

DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS!!!!!!!
we all kinda lose it sometimes. it happens. and as long as you learn something for next time, that is what matters. and i'm sure e doesn't remember and he forgot about it in 5 minutes. he loves you no matter what, and you love him no matter what.
motherhood ain't easy sister! hang in there!

rose said...

oh and there are numerous times when i have planned to go out and stayed home because of children/husband issues and it gets me in a bad mood and i just don't feel like going out anymore. sucky.

Ben & Diane said...

Emily.....I sooooo relate. In fact, Dallin is in his room right now having a LONG time-out. I haven't been getting alot of sleep lately because of a very painful shoulder problem and I realized that my patience for my kids has gone out the window. So, today I prayed to be extra patient and attentive and loving with Mia and Dallin. Well, after about three hours I have already lost it. It's called being a mom and daily we realize that we are not as perfect as we want to be. I'm sure you looked really cute and I would have been upset too if my clothes got messed up and my kid wouldn't eat the food that I so lovingly prepared so he would be healthy and not hungry, plus you were probably trying to help out Steve too. See, I understand. YOU'RE NOT ALONE. I am going to go get Dallin now and he will probably smile at me, so good thing kids are forgiving. You should be just as forgiving with yourself. I love you and your blog.
Diane

destiny said...

Oh I am so sorry! I love to go out! I know that there had been times like that happen to me! You are totally not alone. Just recently I got super fed up at Tal for not learning her letters. I was pounding A and B on her and just wanted her to tell me when they were after I told her a million times. Well she couldn't and I just lost it and yelled at her and we both cried. I was so frustrated with her! Well I calmed myself down and realized that she still has lots of time to learn her letters, and she will when she wants to if I don't force her. Well maybe Easton will start to eat different foods when he wants to and if you just keep on offering them to him, but don't force them on him he might just surprise you one day and actually eat it! Good luck! By-the-way we LOVED playing with you guys yesterday! Lets to it again soon!

Christi said...

Well that is it Em, I am reporting you to child services. I can't believe a person would ever get frustrated with their kid :) Don't worry we will have another girls night, and you will look hot! We know you love Easton, he is way too cute not to!

Danielle and Clayton said...

Ugh- I am so sorry! That sounds so sad. I would've done the same thing- gotten all dressed up and carefully planned everything. In fact I HAVE done that before. I agree with previous comments- Easton probably has forgotten by now! I know you're a good mommy-so don't sweat it!

Emily said...

Thanks, you guys are the best! I kind of hoped that you could all relate, so thanks for making me feel better!

Alifinale said...

I am sad you didn't come - especially on a night you needed it the most. Oh I have those times when I yell and freak out...more often than I would like to admit. Let do another girls night soon to make up for last night.

Amy: said...

I love your posts, even if you're complaining, I never think of it that way- I just think of it as you're telling us what's going on. Anyway- before I forget- I am not going to her wedding/sealing. I don't know anyone besides the mitchells who are going to utah and they can't take me. Your parents aren't going are they? Anyway- so I'll be here for her endowments and the open house thing. What about you? OK next- you are not a bad mother AT ALL. I look up to you so much. I think your are one of the most christlike people I know, for real. infact- I laughed when you put the yelling part- because I know your telling the truth, but i can't imagine it. Like I literally looked away, closed my eyes and tried to imagine it, and i couldn't. And- it's nice to hear these things, because then we realize everyone else isn't perfect, just like yourself (me). Anyway- I love you!

Brynne, Aaron and Cade said...

In our chat you never mentioned you planning a fun night out and being all ready to go when he was throwing things on your outfit...I'm so sorry Em. I could see myself getting pretty frustrated too. It happens to us all for sure so don't think a second more about it. Hopefully we learn and move on and continue to love each other. You're such a great mommy, never doubt that!

Ilene said...

Today Jackson spat at me and I spat right back at him.

Lizzie said...

So sorry Em. I agree with everyone else, don't feel bad AT ALL. You spend night and day with the kid, you can't be on best behavior ALL the time. No one is perfect. Also, he probably didn't even notice you getting upset. I just think you are such a good mom for trying over and over to feed him healthy food. It'd be so much easier just to give him what he wants. I wish Tanner would eat green beans. Tanner lives on soy milk. We are lucky if he eats fruit and bread. One of these days we need to cut the "milkies". I remember around Eastons age is when it all started going downhill. He went from liking everything, to liking about 5 things. Good Luck!

Chelsea said...

I totally know how you feel about the getting ready for girls night part...not the kid thing, but I do get frustrated with Derek he's basically a big kid. Getting dressed up for the girls is totally like the first day of school or a first date. Except I was so comfortable with you guys that with our girls nights I totally could go in my comfy clothes. I didn't know you, Alison, and Christi were all in the same ward! How fun!

Megan and Greg said...

That made me laugh so much. I would have done the same thing. If that happens again, GO OUT!!!! Girls have a way of making you feel better. Glad all seems well. LOVE YOU!!!

Jenni Jolley said...

you are the best mom in the world. and steve is the best dad. and easton knows it :) and i'm with amy... you yelled??? you must have been pissed lol jk jk jk!!!!!!!! it's ok to lose it sometimes... similar to my sob session whil you were visiting :)

love you

East Coast Pratts said...

If you've only had one of these with all that's going on you're AWESOME!! Trust me I've had quite a few of these in fact I almost called off our Drive-In Date yesterday!

Dad said...

Emily, I am in shock that you could could do a thing like that, because in the 30 years of raising our 6 perfect children who never made a mistake Sharon and I never yelled at them even once.
Steve

Chelsie Crane said...

So sad you didn't make it to girl's night, but there will be more! We try and do it once a month so we will catch you on the next one. I am excited to get bunko (sp?) going too. What is your email and I will put you on the evite list?